All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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