laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
