I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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