it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
