..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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