Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
