I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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