Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
barbara walters just said penis...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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