Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

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(773): View more from Illinois

legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages

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(216): View more from Ohio

There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.

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(571): View more from Virginia

In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?

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