If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Everything about him screamed your future.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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