her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
