You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
