to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
