I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
