Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
