Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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