I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
