im drinking this country out of the recession.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
