guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
