he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Still dying that you shit outside
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
