The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
