Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
