I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am mentally ready for anal.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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