:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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