1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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