North Korea, Best Korea!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
