found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
