he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dear god my vagina.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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