Buhtt sex?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
