I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
