After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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