My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize