he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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