The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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