Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
