I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
