oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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