So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
