ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
