Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
