he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize