How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize