If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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