YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
