I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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