You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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