Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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