I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so let's talk penis.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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