We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
