just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
