That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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