Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no you cant smoke seaweed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
