dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
