508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
